Dear Carolyn • My boyfriend of two years asked me if I wanted to go on a cruise with him. I said no, because I had other financial obligations. He said OK, he would go alone as a Christmas gift to himself! Interesting. I have not said a thing. I paid fully for two vacations, one to Key West and the other to New York City. What does this say about our relationship? This is the same man who tells me that we are a couple and we do nothing alone. What are your thoughts? Is it finally time for me to say goodbye?
Dear Rather Confused • Apparently, but not just because he's cruising alone; many couples embrace occasional solo travel. On its own, his "Christmas gift to himself" is more of a forehead-slapper than a deal-breaker, with an easily made counterpoint: "Ouch. I gladly paid for your Key West and New York trips. I'm really hurt." Then he'd have a chance to say his piece, which would likely answer your is-it-finally-time question. The reason you needn't work that hard for your answer: This man "tells me that we are a couple and we do nothing alone"? Wow. You know the context, but without it, it sounds suspiciously like the last thing someone says to you before you break up with him or her. It's a statement of ownership of you that foreshadows abuse. You don't even need this many words to get your answer, though: When you put "finally" in the "Is it time to break up" question, that's the only word you need.
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