Dear Carolyn • When I was 16, I came home to my mom sneaking out of our house with her belongings and my younger brother. She was leaving my stepdad, and me, too. She actually left us a note on the kitchen table. After watching my stepdad go through the motions of moving out and not asking me to go with him, it became clear I was on my own. I called relatives and the general consensus was it was none of their business. After years of no communication, I called my dad and he let me move in with him. Come to find out he was a nice person who made me feel wanted for six great years. After he died of a heart attack, I called my mom crying and she said, "Good, he got what he deserved." She didn't contact me again for nine years. Now she texts me sporadically as though nothing has happened. I reply only to what is being asked and offer no more.
Over the years I tried to work on our relationship but she refuses to acknowledge any possible negative feeling I have. She says I was abusive to her (I wasn't) and has told relatives these lies about me. It's ruined my life and has left me without any family support. I have gone to therapy, but they don't tell you what to do. I've read of your loving relationship with your mom and figure you'll give me the sternest response, and I want to see all angles of this.