I caved in when it came to my daughter's texting. I'm a failure as a father.
Those of you who have followed my technology column in recent weeks know that I've been writing about my ongoing struggles to keep my daughter from texting too much.
Initially when she got a cell phone, I limited her to 200 text messages per month for $5. That first month she had about 750 text messages. The second month, she had about 450.
Encouraged by her progress, I gave her another month to get it down. That following month, she went back up to about 570.
I was at wit's end. Finally, under orders from my wife, I boosted her plan to 1,500 text messages a month for $15.
But I included some firm rules of texting to go with the new plan. For a small Christmas present, I wrote them down on a piece of paper along with the announcement that I raised her number of monthly messages.
After I showed my "Ten Commandments of Texting" to some co-workers, they recommended I publish this list to help other parents of texting teens who need to control their children's habits. So here they are. (A definite clip-and-save!)
This entitles you to 1,000 text messages per month. Congratulations! (Note that I really got her a plan for 1,500 messages a month. Heh, heh.)
HOWEVER, there are restrictions involved that I call the "Ten Commandments of Texting." Please see below and follow these easy rules for a worry-free and father-free texting experience.
NO texting at the dinner table.
NO texting while in the car and talking with your family.
NO texting at events with the family.
NO texting at any time while in a restaurant with the family.
NO texting in church or school (unless at recess).
NO texting in shopping malls or grocery stores while with the family (unless it is to ask a family member who is not with you a shopping question).
NO texting after 10 p.m.
NO texting people who are in the same house as you.
NO going over 1,000 text messages. (Again, the limit's really 1,500. Heh, heh.)
NO answering friends' texts during the above situations.
Any violation of said restrictions results in complete revocation of all texting privileges.
All above restrictions are subject to change (whenever I feel like it).
What do you think? Does it make sense, did I leave something out, or have I just nominated myself for Abusive Father of the Year? Let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.