iPad Sneetches

This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2012, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Apple's iPad mini is out. What better Christmas gift? What better way to create conversation? Or manage your busy life?

Apple is smart; it knows that social status these days is based on what electronic device you possess.

Teenagers will now howl at their parents that they "need" an iPad mini to "manage" their heavy loads and "learn" at a faster pace.

College students will use Pell grants and student loans to purchase minis, because, after all, they are an "educational necessity."

Middle-class men will tuck iPad minis in their suit-coat pockets, smoothly whisking them out to schedule appointments and Google information they are clueless about. Sophisticated women will tuck minis in handbags and use them to entertain their bothersome toddlers.

Dr. Seuss was so right in "The Sneetches," where stars on bellies went in and out of fashion based on how rare they were, and only Sylvester McMonkey McBean profited with his star-removing and -adding machines.

We are all "Sneetches," and right now medium-size stars are in style. It won't be long before Apple, in its sly wisdom, will unveil the iPod jumbo, and everyone will again flock to Apple stores.

Ben Watkins