Gorillas and wolves
This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

One of the greatest challenges of being retired is to explain to well-meaning folks what I do with all my time. The truth is, I spend most of my time keeping lowland gorillas out of South Davis County. Can you imagine the damage to the oak brush on the hills above Farmington if we allow a bunch of mangy gorillas to forage there?

I believe I have been pretty successful to date. It's been a labor of love and a public service.

Recently, though, I learned that the Legislature is generously giving away a lot of public money for programs just like mine ("Legislature wastes tax money on wolf battle," Opinion, July 9) and I have decided to go to the Legislature to get mine. I think $300,000 is about right for this year. However, I might ask for more.

Can anyone give me some advice on this? Do I have to give my business a name? Maybe something like OBF (Oak Brush Forever), or maybe GGH (Gorillas Go Home). Will it help my cause if I tell the folks at the Legislature that I know who Gayle Ruzika is?

If so, I'm pretty sure I could pick her out of a lineup.

Lynn L. Dubois

Centerville