One of the greatest challenges of being retired is to explain to well-meaning folks what I do with all my time. The truth is, I spend most of my time keeping lowland gorillas out of South Davis County. Can you imagine the damage to the oak brush on the hills above Farmington if we allow a bunch of mangy gorillas to forage there?
I believe I have been pretty successful to date. It's been a labor of love and a public service.
Recently, though, I learned that the Legislature is generously giving away a lot of public money for programs just like mine ("Legislature wastes tax money on wolf battle," Opinion, July 9) and I have decided to go to the Legislature to get mine. I think $300,000 is about right for this year. However, I might ask for more.
Can anyone give me some advice on this? Do I have to give my business a name? Maybe something like OBF (Oak Brush Forever), or maybe GGH (Gorillas Go Home). Will it help my cause if I tell the folks at the Legislature that I know who Gayle Ruzika is?
If so, I'm pretty sure I could pick her out of a lineup.
Lynn L. Dubois