Washington at Green Bay, 11 a.m., Ch. 13 • Upon being asked for the eleventy-millionth time about his late hit on Colin Kaepernick, the Packers' Clay Matthews finally yelled, "Next game! I'm an awesome player, not a dirty player." Touché, Mr. Humility. Alas, he'd better hope some of his fellow defenders acquire some awesomeness too, lest RG3 pick up where Kaepernick left off.
San Diego at Philadelphia, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • Ramones guitarist Johnny Ramone once replied to a critic's lament about all his band's songs being only 2 minutes: "We have long songs … we just play them really fast." Seems relevant after Chip Kelly unleashed his "blur" offense last Monday, making it clear in the process that these Eagles will give no opponent a "Peaceful Easy Feeling."
Denver at N.Y. Giants, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 2 • Though it's natural to put near-exclusive focus on The Brothers Manning given that: 1. They are brothers; 2. They are the starting quarterbacks; and 3. Their advertising credits include the epic Oreo Double Stuff Racing League and the legendary DirecTV Football On Your Phone spots, it turns out there are, in fact, other players in this game. Some may even be decent.
San Francisco at Seattle, 6:30 p.m., Ch. 5 • If these teams are really the mirror-images everyone is claiming, does their mutual disdain actually indicate self-loathing? Who cares. Let's not get too deep here. Let's just appreciate the ranting of allegedly grown men such as Anthony Dixon calling Seattle the "She-Hawks" or K.J. Wright referencing the "forty whiners" for what it is: hilariousness.