Paul Rolly: Finally, a test to keep Utah kids safe from leftists

There has been much hand-wringing among Utah patriots since the state joined the Common Core along with dozens of other states to set common standards for student achievement.

There also has been a slew of misinformation spread about the Common Core by those who are convinced that socialists are trying to infiltrate the fertile minds of Utah's youths with trick questions on Common Core-inspired tests that are required to ensure students meet those standards.

The Legislature even established a review panel of parents to peruse each question in Utah's exam to make sure the questions don't promote a gay agenda, a socialist agenda, an environmentalist agenda, a gun-control agenda or vegetarianism.

The panel reviewed the questions and found no hidden agendas.

But just to be sure, I've come up with my own list of questions that are Utah friendly and promote sound conservative values:

1. If Billy, Jenny, Angela, James and Eddie know the church is true, but Sally, Greg, Tom and Vincent aren't so sure, what percentage of this group will go to heaven?

2. Identify the grammatical error in this otherwise-accurate sentence. "The idea of man-caused global warming are a hoax."

3. If you have in your possession six loaded guns, each containing six rounds of ammunition, how many bad guys with guns can you eliminate before you run out of ammo?

4. The Earth is:

a) 8,000 years old

b) 6,000 years old

c) 5,000 years old

d) 7,000 years old

5. Legislator Jones needs $10,000 for his re-election campaign. His fundraiser costs $100 for each participant to join him in a round of golf. How many foursomes of payday-lending lobbyists will have to play for him to meet his goal?

6. If a tree falls in the forest, did the Boy Scouts cut it down or did it just fall?

7. If the attorney general commits election fraud but follows the Word of Wisdom and pays his tithing, can he still get a temple recommend?

8. When Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams gets pulled over, it's likely because of:

a) Speeding

b) Improper lane change

c) Suspicion of underage driving

9. The governor of Utah is:

a) Elected

b) Appointed

c) Sustained

10. If you need Salt Lake City police to come to your home in an emergency, the best way to get them there in a hurry is to:

a) Report an armed home invasion

b) Report a kidnapping

c) Report a parking violation

11. True or false? You need a college education to be Utah's governor.

12. Uncle Lenny refused to rent his apartment to Adam and Steve because?

a) They liked Broadway musicals

b) They dressed too sharply

c) They drove a Subaru with an Obama sticker

d) All of the above

13. Which system of nominating candidates for public office offers the best odds of selecting someone with the proper governmental philosophy and sound constitutional principles?

a) You and 10 of your best friends meet the candidates over sugar cookies and punch and decide among yourselves who is the most like you.

b) More than 100,000 uninformed voters are allowed to cast their votes, based on ignorance, in a Republican primary.

prolly@sltrib.com —