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Twila and Fred Norton have been married for 13 years, but they treasure the open invitation to spend time with Utah Sunday Singles.
"We met at Parents Without Partners, but it was [Utah Sunday Singles] that brought us together," Twila Norton says.
The Nortons enjoy Singles friends so much, they started an annual Memorial Day Breakfast at East Canyon Resort where everyone is invited to be a Utah Sunday Single this morning, $4 a person (call 801-277-7722).
Utah Sunday Singles celebrated its 33rd anniversary March 31 with a no-host dinner at the Orbit Cafe, anniversary cake and a red rose for everyone. Dues are $5 a year and activities are paid individually.
Originally sponsored by the Presbyterian Church, Utah Sunday Singles has evolved into a social group of about 60 members. Minimum age for membership is 50, but the average age is "between 70 and 80."
That does not translate to folks in reclining chairs.
"We have a lot of activities," club secretary Lucile Martin says, rattling out an eclectic list that includes ballroom dancing, brunches and dinners, silent movies at the Organ Loft, miniature golfing and home parties.
"Seven of us went to a Patsy Cline concert. It was a lot of fun," Martin added.
At the anniversary party, club members tabled-hopped to visit. They signed a condolence card to a member whose son had died; they applauded people celebrating birthdays that month.
Conversation was animated.
Ivah Doverspike, who runs pinochle and bridge tournaments at several area senior centers, was already plugging the citywide pinochle tournament coming up in June.
"We had 19 [four-person] tables last year," she says.
Other members shared stories. Helen Morandi is a hostess on a Wendover Fun Bus, and Martin sees every home Jazz game as a volunteer usher. Karen Dabney is too busy with investments to retire.
Professional cosmetician Jenny Quintana gave up her shop, but "glamorizes" clients at three nursing centers centers each week.
Everyone at the dinner - club president LorRaine Madill, Kelly Martin, Jody Freckleton, Carolyn Carlson, Sue Burge, George Terra, Jean Bird, Lori Sessions, Dexter Whipple, Pat Fuster, Toni Frazier - keeps busy on a daily basis.
In every singles group, there is the question: What is the ratio of men to women? Most women and men agree it would be great to have a dance partner. It is not likely to happen. At the anniversary dinner, there were about 25 women and three guys. It figures: Of 57 million American women 45 and older, half are unmarried.
While the Nortons and their friends Betty and Norm Hanneman met at the Utah Sunday Singles, they acknowledge they are exceptions, not the rule.
"There always have been more women than men," Betty Hanneman says.
And usually, singles clubs exclude married couples. But Utah Sunday Singles is the exception. "Alumni" are invited to participate.
"Fred and I were 'game night' hosts recently. We had a pot-luck dinner and there were 18 people playing poker, a dice game and bingo and talking," Twila Norton says.
Betty and Norm Hanneman were there and had a good time.
"We are close to Fred and Twila and others in the group," Betty says.
As singles who have been there and done that, Norton and Hanneman say you do not have to be paired up to enjoy the company.
"There is dancing, two times a week. The men make sure that every one gets a chance to dance," Norton says.
Besides, women of the Utah Sunday Singles are living proof of the fallacy of stereotypes. AARP The Magazine, in its current issue, says that the stereotype of an older single woman as lonely, desperate, unable to understand finances and careless about appearance is a myth.
As writer/psychology professor Bella DePaulo suggests in the AARP article ("The Secret Lives of Single Women"), " . . . many single women are living lives of secret contentment."
But not quietly.
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Contact Judy Magid a magid@sltrib.com or 801-257-8608. Send comments to livingeditor@sltrib.com.
Dating déjĄ vu
Ask dating services maven Paul Falzone about the senior dating scene and he will tell you it is "hot as a pistol."
He should know. The Boston-based executive is chief executive of "eLove," "The Right One," and "Together" dating services. And, he was among the millions who watched the Jay Leno Show on May 8 and saw a professional table tennis player, age 100, and his 30-year younger wife expound about their relationship.
"I'm telling you, senior dating is very widely acceptable," he says, adding, "Everyone needs love."
He also adds a few tips for those who may be out of practice:
l Plan ahead. Instead of a movie and dinner, go on a gallery stroll or an artist's reception. Stop for dessert.
l Be courteous. Courtesy transcends generations. Confirm your date, be on time and conclude it comfortably. Not every date leads to another. Go into with no expectations; end on a polite note.
l Meet in a public place by your own transportation. Play it safe until you get to know the person.
l Men and women often split the bill. Both should offer to pay their share and be prepared to do so. Be sure to have cash in case plastic is not accepted.
l Play it straight. Be honest and sincere.
l Leave skeletons in the closet. Problems with your ex, your elderly parents or your children? A first date is not the time to unload.
l Avoid "takers." A "take" wants every date to revolve around his/her schedule, interests and activities. Dating is a two-way deal, listening and talking.
l Be aware. There are people who are quick to take advantage of the loneliness of "senior citizens." Protect your assets and guard personal information.
l Be safe. Tell a friend where and with whom your are going on your date. If you can't reach anyone, leave a message on your own voice mail.
- Paul Fazone
MATURE DATING
BY THE NUMBERS
* 36.3 million - the number of people 65 and over in the United States on July 1, 2003, accounting for 12 percent of the total population.
l 4.9 million - the number of people 85 and over in the U.S. at that time.
l 86.7 million - the projected number of people 65 and over in 2050, accounting for 21 percent of the total population at that time.
l 147 percent - the projected percentage increase in the 65-and-over population between 2000 and 2050. By comparison, the population as a whole would have increased by only 49 percent over the same period.
l There are 83 men for every 100 women in the 65 to 74 age group.
l There are 44 men for every 100 women 85 and older.
l Of women age 65 and over, 44 percent are widowed; 41 percent are married and living with their spouses.
l Women age 65 and older are three times more likely to be widowed than their male counterparts. Among men in the same age group, 71 percent are married and living with their spouses and only 14 percent are widowed.
- Sources: U.S. Census (http://www.census.gov); AARP, May/June (http://www.aarpmagazine.org); "AARP Foundation Women's Leadership Circle Study"; Jacqueline Marcell (http://www.ElderRage.com and http://blog.thirdage.com); Paul A. Falzone ( eLove.com)