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Forty years ago in a sweltering South American apartment, I crouched around a radio with several other Mormon missionaries to see if we could tune in General Conference.

Static came first, then we heard the raspy words (which itself sounded a lot like static) of then-President Spencer W. Kimball. Hearing the familiar voice, we immediately were seized by homesickness.

Thousands of miles away, life in Utah was marching along without us. We could almost smell the leaves turning along the Wasatch, hear the sounds of gunfire from the deer hunt and taste our mothers' cooking.

"My brothers and sisters, welcome to …"

Then, poof, the magic disappeared as President Kimball's voice was replaced by a Spanish interpreter.

"Mis hermanos y hermanas, bienvenidos a …" repeated a smooth, obviously young Spanish voice.

Elder Meener, the greenie, started to cry. Disappointed, we shut off the radio and decided to wait three weeks for the written conference reports. It just wasn't the same when President Kimball sounded like Fernando Lamas.

Most non-English-speaking Mormons have always received conference through interpreters. I wonder if they lost something in translation as well.

That's about to change. For the first time since, well, ever, LDS general authorities will be permitted to speak in their native languages.

And for the first time in the same amount of time, Utah Mormons will be the ones following along through interpreters.

I can't wait.

A Chinese or German general authority will stand at the Monsternacle lectern and rattle off something that sounds foreign and vaguely threatening. Then an English interpreter (or subtitles) will cut in.

Elder Wu-Tang Clan: "[Something that sounds like a live duck being microwaved]."

English interpreter: "Finally, you people get a taste of what it's been like for us all these years."

Cool. I like change. It makes the overly comfortable nervous, which I think is at least half the point of a good religion.

But I recently heard someone claim that this new change is a demonstration of the gift of tongues.

Tongues commonly refers to someone seized by the Holy Spirit who suddenly begins to babble in a language no one else in the room understands. The speaker — or someone else with the gift of interpretation — will then tell everyone what the speaker meant.

Even though it's mentioned in Mormonism's Articles of Faith, I don't put much stock in the gift of tongues. Mainly because I don't consider it much of a gift to hold forth in a tongue no one understands. That sounds more like the gift of annoyance.

Seriously, if you have ever been stuck in a place where you were the only one who spoke English — and you needed something quickly — did you consider your communication problem a gift?

Mormons supposedly believe in the gift of tongues. Some early LDS leaders even spoke in them. Apparently we quit doing it. I've never heard it happen in any meeting. I'd like to see them try.

One particular argument holds that speaking in tongues is the only way to accurately convey celestial, Godlike thoughts.

Even if true, that makes no sense. It still has to be translated into English or whatever. If it would have lost something in the firsthand, why would second- and thirdhand make it better?

Maybe I'll just wait for the written reports again. I hope they're in English.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.