This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2004, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Bill Cosby's characters hit the big screen, but leave no impression.

Rated PG for momentary language;

94 minutes.

Opening Christmas Day everywhere.

-

It's Hollywood tradition to match fat with thin, like Laurel & Hardy or Abbott & Costello. For "Fat Albert," the live-action adaptation of Bill Cosby's beloved cartoon character, the title character is paired with woefully thin material.

Fat Albert and his junkyard pals are first seen as we remember them, as flat cartoon characters on TV. But when Doris (Kyla Pratt), a plain-Jane high-schooler in North Philadelphia (Cosby's home turf), comes home crying after being picked on by the popular kids, a tear hits the remote and suddenly Fat Albert (Kenan Thompson) and pals jump from the TV into the real world.

The gang has to acclimate to such things as laptops and hip-hop while trying to help the reluctant Doris find new friends. Besides being sidetracked by Doris' pretty foster sister Lauri (Dania Ramirez), Albert realizes he and the Cosby Kids are working on a deadline - they have to get back into the TV before their colors fade out and before the cartoon bad guys take over the junkyard.

Now, there are at least three ways, all of them valid, to make a "Fat Albert" movie: Update the characters to modern concerns, do a live-action cartoon à la "The Flintstones," or make a cartoon. Doing all three at once turns the movie into an incoherent mishmash of styles, denying Cosby's characters their (pardon the pun) weight.

Director Joel Zwick, a TV guy who got lucky when he drew the gig to make "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," gives everything - from the cheesy big-city backlot to the solid-color costumes - a flat, lifeless sitcom tone. The script, by Cosby and Charles Kipps (a writer for the Cosby-created cartoon "Little Bill"), is so full of empowerment messages that nobody noticed the plot makes no sense. Thompson (a regular on "Saturday Night Live" who does a wicked Star Jones) and the cast cannot be blamed, because they have been given no material to play and nothing to play against.

There are a few touches of sweetness to "Fat Albert" - like a final scene that pays tribute to Cosby's old friends who inspired these characters - but the movie overall is dull and flavorless.

movies@sltrib.com