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Former Ute Kaelin Clay will be planted in front of the television Saturday night, although he knows it will mean reliving the most painful memory of his college football career.
It has been almost a year since The Drop, and memories of the play have not gone away. Clay figures it will get replayed two, three, four, who-knows-how-many times when Utah plays Oregon in Eugene.
"I believe the Utes have a great chance to win," he told The Salt Lake Tribune this week. "But I'm ready for this week to be over."
The 3-0 Utes wouldn't mind getting past this thing, either.
When coach Kyle Whittingham took a question Monday about the play Clay's surefire touchdown catch that became a fumble when he inexplicably dropped the ball at the 1 yard line in a premature end zone celebration he winced as if ripping off a bandage.
"That's in the past," Whittingham said stiffly. "That's the way we coach, that's the way we handle it. Everyone's aware of it."
That message was echoed by players and coaches in the program this week: It was last year. We're a different team now.
But in a broader sense, the Utes are still fighting that perception: Last November on their home field, they had the nation's No. 5 team locked in a slugfest. Even after Clay's critical error that led to a 14-point swing, the Utes were only down 3 early in the fourth quarter before Oregon scored three unanswered touchdowns in an eventual 51-27 blowout.
This Saturday in a nationally televised game at Autzen Stadium, Utah wants to leave a distinctly different impression than the one it made last year.
"Last year, we just didn't finish," offensive lineman Isaac Asiata said. "I loved last year's team, but this year, we've got some dogs. We want to make it a complete battle for four quarters."
The Utes are still working on that fourth quarter part this season, especially after allowing 21 points to Fresno State in the final period last week. Although the letdown was laid at the feet of the second-string defense, it was nonetheless disconcerting for the team.
There have been other close-ish calls. Utah State had a pair of fourth-quarter drives into Utah territory that were cut short by turnovers. Michigan managed to turn a safe Utah win into a one-score game, and was one onside kick recovery away from offering some drama in the final minute.
By contrast, Oregon is outscoring opponents 35-14 in the fourth quarter traditionally, it's the period when they pull away.
"We talk about that all the time: Don't let up," safety Tevin Carter said. "We let up [against Fresno State.] It was a good thing we had some big special teams plays that gave us a big lead, or else we would've been in a dogfight."
Utah hopes to bring the dogfight to Oregon. The Utes haven't been perfect, but neither have the Ducks: a loss to Michigan State and competitive games against Eastern Washington and Georgia State have revealed a few flaws, particularly in pass coverage.
Although every Ute will tell you last year is "in the past," there's no doubt that the Utes gained a sense of confidence from keeping it close for three quarters last November. They believe they can win in the stadium where the Ducks are 15-1 under Mark Helfrich.
And yes, maybe they want a little redemption, too.
"That play is always going to be in the back of your mind," Carter said. "I'm sure they're going to show that play on TV a thousand times. … I'm sure Kaelin will be watching, and if we win, he'll feel like it's his revenge as well."
There's one man who wouldn't change how anything turned out: Clay.
The 23-year-old recognizes that his name is inexorably linked with his gaffe, but he's learned to live with it. He went on to gain 152 yards against the Ducks in that game, and ended up with three more receiving touchdowns afterward after taking up production for the injured Dres Anderson. He was an eventual All-American as a returner, and a 6th-round pick of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
And he won't go down as the last person to drop a ball before the end zone. When Oregon's own Byron Marshall made the same mistake in the national championship against Ohio State but wasn't punished for it Clay tweeted: "NO BYRON NO!"
"I couldn't believe it, I was shocked that he did that since he was in that game when I did it," Clay said. "But you know, that play helped me in the end. If you own up to it, if you learn from it, something good can happen."
Clay got good news this week after being cut from the Bucs' practice squad: He was picked up by the Detroit Lions, where he said he's already blending into his surroundings. One of his new teammates, former Duck Haloti Ngata, has been one of the warmest of all.
But Saturday, when the Utes and Ducks are on TV, it's rivalry time teammates or not. And Clay hopes the Utes can turn around the conversation by keeping the pressure on for a whole game.
"You know, I don't think it haunts me," he said. "It's over and done with. Our guys are 3-0 this year, and I do believe they have a great chance to win this weekend. I love those guys."
When it comes to The Drop, the Utes are best-served by letting go of the past.
No. 18 Utah at No. 13 Oregon
P At Autzen Stadium, Eugene, Ore.
Kickoff • Saturday, 6:45 p.m. MT
TV • Fox. Radio • 700 AM
Series history • Oregon leads, 20-8
Last meeting • Nov. 8, 2014 at Utah; Oregon 51, Utah 27
About the Utes • The Utes have two key players who missed starts against Fresno State that could play against Oregon: quarterback Travis Wilson and defensive end Hunter Dimick. Kyle Whittingham said both decisions won't be revealed until the game begins. … Utah's special teams were in 2014 form against the Bulldogs last week, as Cory Butler-Byrd scored on a 98-yard kickoff return and Britain Covey had a 77-yard punt return for a touchdown. … Senior running back Devontae Booker had a breakout game last week with 156 rushing yards against Fresno State. So far, his 84 rushing attempts rank No. 3 nationally.
About the Ducks • Quarterback Vernon Adams Jr. missed a start last week with an injured finger, but the Utes are expecting him to play on Saturday. Adam's backup, Jeff Lockie, was 23 for 31 last wek with 228 yards, 2 touchdowns and no interceptions. … Mark Helfrich has been fairly successful against ranked opponents, going 7-3 against AP top 25 teams in his tenure as head coach of the Ducks.