This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Tomorrow will be exactly a month since I officiated at a gay wedding. I married Andrew Romriell to Jedidiah Smith in a rainstorm. I'm happy to report that they are still married and still in love.
I'm equally pleased to report that I'm still Mormon. I bring this up to address the issue of being asked if I've been excommunicated, disfellowshipped or otherwise disciplined by the LDS Church, which does not approve of gay marriage.
Immediately after the column (June 11, 2016) ran, readers sent emails and letters and even posted on the comments section that I had finally crossed the line by marrying two gay men.
Here's what happened. Officially. Keep in mind that these are the exact quotes from church leaders in the days following the wedding.
Bishop: "Hi, Robert."
Stake President: "Good to see you, Brother Kirby."
Area Seventy: Nothing.
President of the Seventy: Nada.
Quorum of the Twelve: Zero.
First Presidency: Silence.
I've been counseled/lectured for marrying a gay couple far more by non-/ex-/indifferent Mormons than I have by my own church.
I'm not so clueless as to believe that there haven't been grumbles from some church leaders about what I've done. But if I was in real trouble, I'm not that hard to find. They could call me on the phone, stop by the house or just latch onto me at church. My bishop lives right next door.
Even if they summoned me for a "chat," I wouldn't complain. I'm an idiot. I get jacked all the time by my editor, wife, the police and various other organizations that more or less tolerate my presence. I fail to see why it would be any different at church.
If the church did pull me in for some counseling or a Court O' Love, I wouldn't hold a press conference. Likewise, I wouldn't answer media questions. It would happen like this.
Them: "Mr. Kirby, is it true you were subjected to a church spanking?"
Me: "You sons of $*&%#s get the hell off my lawn."
I've been "counseled" a couple of time before. The first time was in 1996, for writing a column that said I wasn't afraid of church leaders because they're old, and that I could beat up President Gordon B. Hinckley.
My stake president at the time was not known for having a ripping sense of humor, especially about church. He told me to meet with him in his office.
Him: "Robert, you wrote a column where you said you could beat up our Prophet."
Me: "Yeah. I can."
The second time was for using the word "butt" so often in a column that specialized in church behavior.
Him: "It's a vulgar word and you should stop using it altogether."
Me: "Well, I'm not going to."
And that was that. No yelling, threats, lectures or anything that kept me from going to church whenever I felt like it, which is where I'll be today.
I'll be in church for the same reason I might marry more gay couples because I feel like it and, more importantly, because the aggravation from people who don't think/believe the way I do isn't sufficient to make me quit.
Robert Kirby can be reached at email@example.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.