This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2011, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Some of the world's best and most devastating music was spawned during times of great personal turmoil.
Classical composers from Beethoven to Mahler wrestled with creative demons. Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" sold more than 40 million copies despite its themes of bitter abandonment bred in the warfare of love. Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" was recorded during the breakup of his marriage, and he ruefully recalled years later that he didn't understand how people could find joy in his pain.
Salt Lake City singer-songwriter Mary Tebbs has just released her third album, "Fuzzy Halo," which was conceived, written and recorded in the midst of her July 2008 diagnosis of a brain tumor and her ensuring recovery.
She has lost vision in both eyes and is adjusting to seeing the world differently. But as she sings in "I'm Gonna Shine," one of the songs, she has never felt happier:
In this time of weary conversations
When the news leans toward our slow decline
I'm gonna shift my focus to elation
And find the magnificence in me and let it shine
"This is my third album, and the first one I'm very, very proud of," said Tebbs, 49, her smile framed by cropped, light brown hair and thick spectacles. "I've grown up as a musician. The wisdom of all these experiences have changed why I write songs. I'm not writing about chasing girls. My intention is to inspire people to be alive, [and] show up."
While the loquacious singer has always had a larger-than-life personality, longtime friends are alert to the ways in which Tebbs' health scare has transformed her.
"It's her coming through the other side and coming through with grace," said Michael Jodell Hessling, who played with Tebbs in the local band Sweet Loretta in the 1990s and sings back-up on "Fuzzy Halo." "It shaped her into what she is now. It's fodder for a new muse."
"[Her outlook] is very evident in all her new songs," said Matt Brown, a co-producer of the album. "She wants to enjoy every day."
Tebbs, raised in Southern California, is the daughter of Brigham Young University basketball legend Terry Tebbs, who led the Cougars in scoring during his 1956 senior season. He later married Mary's mother, the former Miss Nevada 1954.
Mary Tebbs, who owned her first guitar at age 9, grew tall like her father and, like him, excelled in basketball, eventually earning a scholarship to BYU.
"I fell in love with a girl, and it ruffled some feathers," Tebbs understates, explaining that she transferred to the University of Utah. Although she didn't graduate, she did earn satisfaction of beating her former BYU team.
Tebbs no longer considers herself Mormon. "Being gay and Mormon is very difficult," she said, explaining how it took some time to reconcile her sexual orientation with the values she grew up with. "Suicide won't get you into the celestial kingdom, so I didn't kill myself," she said.
A few years after college, she picked up a guitar again. She wrote a song on the spot — "Substance Abuse" — and her amazed friends, who didn't know she had ever played, encouraged her to develop her craft.
Tebbs moved to Sugar House, and worked as a graphic designer, while on the side she recorded several albums. That was before health problems arose that confused and worried her.
Tebbs went to see an eye doctor in July 2009 after being bothered by vision problems, headaches and insomnia. She was diagnosed with a noncancerous tumor, and three days later the growth was removed.
Her health complications continued, yet it was while Tebbs was recovering that she had an emotional awakening. "It wasn't life-threatening," she said of her tumor. "It was life-expanding." She didn't want to spend any more time working in jobs that felt less rewarding than making music.
So Tebbs has become a prolific singer-songwriter, while dedicating herself to living consciously.
Bolstered by confidence, the musician is in the midst of recording two new albums. One is focused on love songs, while the second, "Hot Flash," is a collection of more provocative and sultry "lust" songs, which demonstrate Tebbs' new-found directness in her lyrics. Her song "Fits of Love" documents that uninhibited spirit:
Got to getcha into fits of love
You see, I've got this burning feeling and it's pounding through my veins
So come on, give me your willingness and I'll have you coming 'round again and again and again
"I love my life," she said. "I love what I'm up to. I want to expand my love."
Beethoven never said that.
Have a listen
O You can listen to "Fuzzy Halo" at http://www.marytebbs.com and purchase the album at http://www.reverbnation.com/marytebbs