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Gather around, readers, and you shall now hear
Of The Trib's nominations for Utahn of the Year.
It's a roundup of newsmakers large and small
You can vote for one, or make your own call.
We start out the list with the legend named Sloan
Who got up and left the Jazz with a groan.
Or instead we could go with the one called D-Will
But the team decided to leave him before he will.
How about Ralph Becker, our stagestruck mayor,
Who thinks with a theater we'll be a player?
We can't forget the Speaker Becky Lockhart
Who quite nearly gave our GRAMA a pockmark.
Or let us recall a Burwash named Winder,
His bright star now looks more like a cinder.
From business comes a Johnson named Jeremy
Hard to choose him when his finances still scare me.
And what was it about Librarian Beth Elder
That triggered the buzz saw that eventually felled her?
It is prison time this year for that DeChristopher kid
Who thought he was just making a point with his bid.
Perhaps this should go to the U.'s Chris Hill
Who gets some credit for the Pac 12's $200 mil.
Or how about a scholar named Vivian Lee?
Looks like she's someone who gives a damn, frankly.
And let's not forget our own Jon Huntsman
Smiling and continuing to lose on all fronts, man.
From the cold of the park came the Occupiers,
Frustration fueling their innermost fires.
In Police Chief Burbank the campers found
A guy who could share some common ground.
Then there's the booze boss who goes by Kellen
He always bought what Junior was sellin'.
I suppose we could just rise up and pick Jimmer,
It would give some folks in Provo a glimmer.
Mike Lee brings glee to the Party of Tea
But recognition from us may be conspiracy.
Maybe Texan of the year for polygamist Warren,
Sentenced for making his own kiddie porn.
And no more times for Elizabeth Smart,
Though her courage and grace is still an art.
And we probably don't want street preacher Brian,
Who the courts finally found isn't crazy, just lyin'.
So there's our list. If you don't like our choices,
Now is the time to raise up your voices.
If you have a nominee or vote for Utahn of the year, please let us know by Wednesday, Dec. 21. You can vote online at sltrib.com/news, or you can tell us what you think in the comments on this column. You can send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, or send a letter or postcard to Utahn of the Year, c/o The Salt Lake Tribune, 90 S. 400 West, Suite 700, Salt Lake City, UT, 84101.
We will announce our selection in the paper sometime around Christmas Day.
Tim Fitzpatrick is deputy editor. He can be reached at email@example.com.