McEntee: Who, exactly, does gay marriage harm?

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California's Proposition 8 served only to "impose on gays and lesbians, through the public law, a majority's private disapproval of them and their relationships" by taking away their right to marriage, a federal appeals court has ruled.

Well, I publicly disapprove of those who believe that my friends, family and co-workers should not have the right to civil marriage based solely on their sexual orientation.

At its worst, a three-judge panel found, Prop. 8 violates the 14th Amendment's Equal Protection Clause and its guarantee that the U.S. or any state cannot deny equal protection of the law.

Now, Sen. Orrin Hatch called the ruling by a 9th Circuit Court of Appeals panel "judicial activism at its worst." The LDS Church "regrets" the panel's decision. Church members, of course, gave a lot of financial support to Prop. 8.

A Utah lawyer who backed Prop. 8 said that if a right isn't explicitly detailed in the U.S. Constitution, "it's only going to be recognized if it's fundamental to the tradition and the history of the nation."

That last one works only if we ignore the past 60 years of gay rights activism. In 1951, gay men founded the Mattachine Society to promote gay rights. Four years later, lesbians created the Daughters of Bilitis for the same purpose. And in 1969, the Stonewall Riots in New York City are seen as a catalyst for the LGBT rights movement that continues, ever more powerful and persuasive, today.

Six states and the District of Columbia have approved gay civil marriage. On Wednesday, the Washington state Legislature fully approved gay marriage, sending a bill on to the governor, who has promised to sign it. Utah, of course, is among 26 states that have banned gay marriage.

To me, the fundamental question is, who is harmed by civil unions?

Many faiths won't perform gay marriage, as is their right, but many others gladly do. Does a gay wedding in, say, an Episcopal church impinge on Muslim teachings? Certainly not. Neither does a marriage performed in a city clerk's office.

It's also wise to consider the benefits of marriage. A woman pledges her love, devotion and fidelity to her partner, and thus takes on the day-to-day responsibility of maintaining the relationship for, they may hope, life.

Of course, anybody who's been married knows that sometimes things don't work out — just as in hetero marriages. That's life, and neither a religious or civil ceremony can prevent divorce.

Nearly 30 years ago, my husband and I were married by a judge, not feeling the need for a religious sanction. Our vows to one another were enough.

Same with my friends in California who were lucky enough to hit that 2008 window of marriage opportunity just before Prop. 8 passed.

The bottom line is, I've never heard a convincing argument that gay marriage somehow degrades straight marriage, and I'm quite sure I never will.

Peg McEntee is a news columnist. Reach her at pegmcentee@sltrib.co., facebook.com/pegmcentee and Twitter, @pegmcentee.