This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Provo • His mother was weeping when she opened the door of her rental car. Earlier that day, the woman had been so excited to watch her son play in BYU's spring football game. Now she had something to tell her boy.
His cousin was dead. Shot and killed.
And somehow Cougars running back Squally Canada carried this with him on the field that March afternoon, has carried it every day since, and, he says, will carry it with him each time he touches the football this fall.
"I feel like I've got a lot of weight on my shoulders," Canada said, "because everybody comes back to me and says you've got to do good this year. You've got to do it for us."
The junior from Milpitas, Calif., doesn't intend to let them down.
"If I die on that field working out, I'm gonna die," he said. "I'm giving them my all. That's just how it is."
Running backs will get a lot of attention when camp opens in August.
BYU needs to replace Jamal Williams, the star runner taken by the Green Bay Packers in the fourth round of the NFL draft. They have a bevy of backs, each with a slightly different skill set, trying to fill that hole. But no one, Canada said, will outwork him this fall.
"They are my boys," Canada said. "… We're all really close. But there's a certain understanding that this is football and this is my livelihood. This has been my dream to play at the next level, and we're so close. You're not going to take it from me."
Vinshay J. Bracy, 24, was inside a car when he was shot and killed on the afternoon of March 24 in Fairfield, Calif. The investigation is ongoing.
In the weeks that followed his cousin's death, meanwhile, Canada lost his grandmother to natural causes and endured the scare of having another friend shot twice in the back.
And in the depths of his grief, Canada thought of quitting football before his mother's tough love got him out of bed and back on his feet.
"Leaving and not doing something you love could magnify the heartache," BYU running backs coach Reno Made said. "Get back to your routine and dedicate whatever situations you're in and make something of your life."
That's how Canada said he intends to honor his slain cousin.
Canada acknowledges Bracy's rough past, his time in prison. But the Cougars running back fought back tears Friday as he remembered the companion who lived with him at times growing up, taught him to box and would battle him in video games and on the basketball court late into the night.
"He was definitely my brother," Canada said.
Canada still is filled with grief and rage, but he has tried to channel that into something positive for himself and his family.
"My cousin's death, it wasn't natural," he said. "When you get that word … murder brings out anger. It lights a fire inside of you that you've never felt before. That's what's driving me."
The running back was told to improve his hands, so he catches at least 100 passes from a quarterback and many more tennis balls from a machine each day. He was told to work on making people miss, so he has focused his work with the team's strength coaches on his hips, glutes and ankles.
Even on his off days, Canada does one thing to better himself and his game, and to honor his cousin.
He'll do some extra pushups or stretches. He'll do some sit-ups. He wants to work on his abs because that's where he got Bracy's rap name, Shadybo, tattooed in dark letters.
In tragedy, Canada said, something has "clicked" and he has re-dedicated himself to football.
"It's been really tough," Canada said, tears running down his face and his voice cracking. "I've just been trying to use that fuel just to keep going. During workouts when things get tough, thats all I think about. Can't give up. Keep pushing."
Twitter: @aaronfalk —
Squally Canada's 2016 statistics
Carries • 74
Rushing yards • 315
Rushing TDs • 2