This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
It's trip planning time! And while you're not going to be travelling like you used to (no spring breaks in Cancun or backpacking tours across Europe), you're proud to continue living an exciting life — and you get to share that with your kid. You've picked a fabulous one-day-drive-away destination and you're stoked.
Stage II: Trepidation
You're trying to get out the door one morning as the trip nears, and you realize that while doing your hair you stop six times to keep your babe occupied, alive and happy. And it strikes you that if these last five minutes have felt long, that five-hour drive next weekend is going to be... complicated. So, you ask your parent friends on Facebook (hashtag thanks facehive!) for tips and tricks.
Stage III: Terror
Fifty comments (including three recommendations for family-wide drug use) later and you're questioning if it's even worth it. Life, that is. Let alone the road trip.
Stage IV: Bravery
But then you shake off that familiar feeling of uncertainty-to-the-point-of-mild-anxiety that is the bedrock of parenting, and you realize that you will conquer this, too. Even if it takes $56 worth of toys from the dollar store, a smorgasbord of snacks (including three types of milk: whole, breast, and almond), constant partner pep-talks ("who cares if it takes eight hours, we're going to stay calm and have fun; we've got this.") and Disney songs peppered into your Spotify playlist (which you don't even actually hate).
Stage V: Leaving
Today's the day! After packing and sweating and running back into the house three times for forgotten items and to check the lights and locks, you're hitting the road. You've left at nap time, the babe falls asleep as you hit freeway speeds. Huzzah.
Stage VI: The Fade
The nap isn't as long as normal, but it's fine because you're on vacation! You move to the backseat and start the rotation from toy to toy and snack to snack. Some of those noise-making toys are annoying, but this is fun! It's family time! You make it through all the toys, sample every kind of snack, play 26 rounds of peek-a-boo, revisit the favorite toys, sing Itsy Bitsy Spider, do Patty Cake, do a photoshoot, try and clip those little dragon nails while the babe is strapped in place, and then realize that only an hour has passed.
Stage VII: The Cave
You pull out the iPad pre-loaded with episodes of Sesame Street and Nature Cat as you justify to yourself why breaking the "no screens before age two" rule won't significantly alter the mental, emotional or physical development of your child.
Stage VIII: Peace
Your back will never be the same from craning to hold the iPad close enough to your kidlet to be engaging but far enough away they can't touch it. But it doesn't matter. Your babe is happy and you get to shift your focus to yourself. And how long you've had to pee. Miraculously, your babe falls back asleep, and you do the gentlest victory dance ever performed.
Stage IX: Arrival
You made it. You've got Ritz cracker crumbs down your shirt, you can't stop talking like the Count from Sesame Street and it's going to take a team of professionals to restore any dignity and cleanliness to the backseat of your car, but you made it. Just in time to start dreading the ride home.
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Marina Gomberg's lifestyle columns appear on sltrib.com. She is a communications professional and lives in Salt Lake City with her wife, Elenor Gomberg, and their son, Harvey. You can reach Marina at mgomberg@sltrib.com.