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Rap Sheet: Headless Horseman's crimes in 'Sleepy Hollow'

Published October 30, 2014 12:03 pm
This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2014, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

When reading the Headless Horseman his Miranda rights, is it fair to skip the part about the right to remain silent?

I mean, he doesn't even have a neck — courtesy Ichabod Crane, in FOX's ludicrously silly and ridiculously fun "Sleepy Hollow." Now that he (like this Rap Sheet blog) has risen from the grave, Crane and Lt. Abbie Mills won't rest until he and his murderous cohorts are stopped.

But just how many crimes has the Headless Horseman committed since resuming his hellish ride? If Mills locked him up — for good this time — and put the Horseman on trial, how much prison time would the immortal monster be looking at (uh, metaphorically)? I've gone to the trouble of breaking down the Horseman's crimes by episode, with a final judgment at the end.

Pilot (Season 1, Episode 1)

Aggravated burglary: The Horseman trespasses into someone's stables.

Three counts of murder: The Horseman beheads the stable owner, Sheriff Corbin and a reverend.

Theft: The Horseman steals the stable owner's white horse.

Four counts of attempted murder: The Horseman fires a shotgun and an assault rifle at Ichabod, Abbie and two deputies.

Failure to comply: The Horseman refuses to put his hands on his head when the deputy commands him to. He doesn't have one — or ears — but it's still a crime.

Criminal mischief: The Horseman shoots up a patrol vehicle.

The Midnight Ride (Season 1, Episode 7)

Two counts of aggravated burglary: The Horseman breaks into the Freemasons' building and the lab.

Five counts of murder: The Horseman beheads four of the Freemasons and shoots a lab technician.

Two counts of attempted murder: The Horseman tries to kill Police Capt. Frank Irving and Ichabod.

Four counts of defiling a body: The Horseman hangs the Freemasons' heads in public with candles inside.

Two counts of criminal mischief: The Horseman slashes a painting of George Washington and destroys lab equipment.

Necromancer (Season 1, Episode 8)

Damaging a jail: The Horseman breaks the shackles constraining him in the ultraviolet-hex jail cell.

Attempted murder: The Horseman tries to kill Ichabod before zombie-Andy (Zandy?) stops him.

Escape from official custody: The Horseman escapes from the cell.

Bad Blood (Season 1, Episode 13)

Attempted murder: The Horseman tries to kill Jenny.

Kidnapping: The Horseman rides off with Katrina and holds her captive.

This Is War (Season 2, Episode 1)

Assault: The Horseman grabs Katrina by the neck.

The Kindred (Season 2, Episode 2)

Two counts of attempted murder: The Horseman tries killing Ichabod and Abbie. This would be three counts, but Franklinstein's monster is... arguably not a person?

The Weeping Lady (Season 2, Episode 5)

Attempted homicide: The Horseman tries to kill Ichabod.

Verdict • The Horseman may be ushering in Judgment Day, but if he faced his own judgment in the meantime for his 33 crimes (thus far), the Horseman would face a maximum 101 years behind bars — on top of 22 life sentences. Then again, what's a lifetime to someone who has defied death once already?

— Michael McFall

Twitter: @mikeypanda






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