This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

When Editor Jennifer Napier-Pearce called me into her office, I won't lie. I was nervous.

In my experience as a former kid and also the mom of former kids, "getting called into the office" was never a good thing. Except, of course, for that one time in the fifth grade when the principal sent me to the kindergarten room to hang out with 6-year-olds until I could grow up and behave myself.

Which apparently I did. But not until I got to see this huge pet rabbit with a single ear sticking straight out of its head (like a gladiola) that some kid brought in for Show-and-Tell. As I have said before, this is my favorite fifth-grade memory. By far! Even better than all those memories of playing kissing tag at recess!

Still. I didn't know what to expect when I walked into Jennifer's office, so I was delighted when she asked if I would consider doing an advice column for The Salt Lake Tribune.

(Memo to my family: Hey, look at that! Someone actually wants my advice!)

I immediately put on my professional face and said, "Of course. I would be honored to take on this new responsibility, beginning right now."

But first some disclaimers.

I am not a licensed therapist or social worker. I am also not a licensed Realtor, cabdriver, surgeon, food handler, day-care provider, aesthetician, veterinarian, acupuncturist, architect, financial planner, tattoo artist or chiropractor.

In short, I am not licensed to do ANYTHING in the state of Utah except drive a car. So there's that, although it may interest you to know that I excel at parallel parking and will happily provide educational demonstrations if asked.

Still, I will do my best to answer your questions. Bottom line, I'll try hard not to screw up your life.

Now here are a few examples of questions I've already received, along with my answers.

How many cats make somebody a Cat Lady?

— "Wondering"

One more than you already have. Clearly. So don't worry about it.

My extended family is a house divided. Some of us voted for Clinton. Some of us voted for Trump. Passions run strong on both sides. The problem is that there's a family wedding coming up and I'm worried that things could get ugly amongst us. Any suggestions?

­— "Nervous About Nuptials"

Good times, right?

This is why there used to be unwritten rules about discussing religion and politics in polite society, because doing so tends to generate heat (as the old saying goes) without shedding much light. We human beings hold our beliefs — political and religious — close to our hearts. In fact, we often define ourselves by intensely held beliefs, which then confer upon us feelings of deeply satisfying righteousness. Yay! Truth is on our side! That's why we get so riled up when it comes to politics and religion.

Anyway. Back to your question. If you're the mater- or paterfamilias, you can remind your kids to treat family members — even the annoying ones — with respect. Remind them, too, that the event isn't about them and let that thought guide their behavior. Be aware, however, that they are totally free to ignore you.

Which brings us to this: YOU are the only person whose actions you can control. Afraid you can't stop gloating because you voted for Trump? Resist the temptation to spike the ball in the end zone. Afraid you'll bring up the Putin bromance thing because you voted for Clinton? Graciously excuse yourself and spend the rest of the evening hanging out with the elderly relative who thinks Jimmy Carter is still president.

Or not.

Seriously. Your response is up to you.

Is it OK to tell a Mormon to wake up and smell the coffee?

Of course! Although, depending on the Mormon, he or she might not recognize the scent.

Do you have a question for Ann? Send it to askann@strib.com or visit the Ask Ann Cannon page on Facebook.