• "That stupid blockhead of a brother of mine is out in the pumpkin patch making his yearly fool of himself."
• "You just want me to come running up to kick that football, so you pull it away and see me flat on my back and kill myself."
• "Baugh! My lips touched dog lips! Baugh! Agh! Poisoned dog lips! Baugh! Agh!"
• "Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker."
• "You blockhead. What a fool I was. Trick or treats come only once a year. And I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead. YOU OWE ME RESTITUTION"
• "Here's the World War I flying ace imagining he's down behind enemy lines, making his way across the French countryside."
• "I got a rock."
Elsewhere on TV ...
World Series (5:30 pm., Fox/Ch. 13): After yesterday's rain-out, Game 6 is scheduled for today - Texas Rangers at St. Louis Cardinals
The Big Bang Theory (7 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Sheldon tries to scare his friends.
Community (7 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Group members tell horror stories.
The Vampire Diaries (7 p.m., CW/Ch. 30): Ghosts invade Mystic Falls.
Project Runway (7 and 11 p.m., Lifetime): A winner is declared in the season finale.
Rules of Engagement (7:30 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Russell's father meets Liz.
Parks and Recreation (7:30 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Andy and April throw a Halloween story.
Person of Interest (8 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Reese is captivated by the woman who's the latest person of interest.
The Office (8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Ernie plans the office Halloween party.
Grey's Anatomy (8 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Owen organizes a baseball game against Seattle Presbyterian.
The Secret Circle (8 p.m., CW/Ch. 30): Faye convinces Cassie to throw a big Halloween party.
MLS Playoffs (8 p.m. Altitude 2): Wildcard game - Columbus Crew at Colorado Rapids
Whitney (8:30 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Animosities erupt when Alex's brother visits.
The Mentalist (9 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Henry Thomas ("ET") guest stars as Lisbon's brother - who's now a bounty hunter.
Private Practice (9 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Addison begins in-vitro fertilization treatments.
Prime Suspect (9 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Jane investigates the death of a woman in the Central Park.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (11 p.m., FX): The gang plays the most twisted board game ever.