And then it's the premiere of the sitcom Are You There, Chelsea? (7:30 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5), a truly vile sitcom that's based on the life of Chelsea Handler.
It's one of those shows in which everyone confuses being loud and crude with being funny. Because this show is definitely not funny.
Elsewhere on TV ...
The Middle (7 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Frankie is shaken up by a relative's death.
Nature (7 p.m., PBS/Ch. 7): There's a kangaroo population explosion in Australia.
One Tree Hill (7 and 8 p.m., CW/Ch. 30): The ninth season begins as Brooke tries to adapt to family life. We're told this the final season, but we've heard that before.
NBA (7 p.m., ROOT): L.A. Lakers at Utah Jazz
Suburgatory (7:30 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Tessa thinks the new boy (Dan Byrd of "Cougar Town") is gay, but he's actually a narc.
People's Choice Awards (8 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Kaley Cuoco ("Big Bang Theory") hosts this dopey awards show with winners chosen by an opinion poll.
Modern Family (8 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Mitchell and Cameron try to impress birth mothers.
Harry's Law (8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Harry's client is in trouble because of a pet gorilla.
Nova (8 p.m., PBS/Ch. 7): A look back at Allied efforts at "Bombing Hitler's Dams."
Happy Endings (8:30 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Davie's father (Michael McKean) is dating Penny's mother (Megan Mullally).
Revenge (9 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4): Emily goes after an acclaimed author; Daniel gets in the middle of his parents' divorce.
Law & Order: SVU (9 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): An actress is raped during a theater production.