Dear Carolyn • I am in a committed relationship with a divorced man who is the father of two young adults, 22 and 24. My boyfriend was separated six years ago and has been divorced for three. I did not even know him during this time. Since we started dating, I have been barred from spending any event with my boyfriend where his children would be present. My boyfriend claims my presence would be too upsetting to them. I have told him repeatedly how much it pains me to be systematically excluded, particularly during holidays. He said he will not compromise, so I may be asking the obvious question ... is it time to let go of him?
Dear J. • Apparently. "(Your) presence would be too upsetting"? To two adults? But his rationale stands as a badge of courage compared with the likelihood that he doesn't even mean it: Sounds more to me like a fig leaf for his true reason, that he just doesn't want you there. Please make my day and tell me you pulled the plug moments after hitting "send" on your email to me.