Dear Carolyn • I am a traditional person and believe couples should marry before living together. My son has a live-in girlfriend. How do I respect their choice without condoning it? I do not want them to be an example to younger members of the family of how things are done. Should the live-in be invited to family gatherings, be viewed as "part of the family," etc.? Or should we be cordial and polite but not so inclusive as to blur the lines between real family and pseudo-family?
Dear Anonymous • I think you should try to rewrite that question with a little more contempt. "Pseudo-family"? If you hope to have any kind of relationship with your son, treat the girlfriend as you would any girlfriend. "Condoning" isn't up to you since, presumably, they are adults making choices for their own lives.