Dear Carolyn • My boyfriend of three years proposed to me 10 months ago. I wasn't ready; he's been patient. He's now eager to know one way or the other and neither of us wants to waste more time, but I am completely torn. I feel like he is my soul mate and we connect on an otherworldly level. But I hesitate to commit fully because I am religious and he does not want to participate, even for my sake. I am also very spiritual and have a hard time saying yes to a life where I know I will not grow and connect spiritually/religiously with my spouse. I've tried therapy, we've tried giving each other space, and we've tried living our lives together until I arrive at an eventual conclusion, none of which has worked. What now?
To Commit, or Not to Commit?
Dear To Commit • Since you've tried everything else, the only remaining choice is to leave for good not "give each other space," but exit decisively enough for you both to start healing and building new lives without each other. For the sake of argument, though: You say, "we connect on an otherworldly level" and then, "I know I will not grow and connect spiritually/religiously with my spouse." Which is it? "On an otherworldly level" and "spiritually" sound like the same connection to me.