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First down

San Francisco vs. Jacksonville, at London, 11 a.m., Ch. 13 • The Jag-you-ars (they are in England, after all), will play a game in London for the next 28 years. Sooooo, two questions, Mr. Goodell: 1. Why are you punishing London? And 2. Is featuring the team that is your sorriest trash heap (sorry, London — pile of rubbish) really the best way to gain international interest?

Second down

Miami at New England, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • Marine biologists have long touted the considerable intelligence of dolphins, but the football iteration surely must affect the grading curve. How smart is it, after all, to spend a fortune "upgrading" your team, only to have an offensive line that can't keep your latest would-be franchise QB upright? The Pats, though, seem to be plenty smart. They've lost about 37 of their top players, yet they're 5-2.

Third down

Washington at Denver, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 13 • Peyton Manning looked so sad after losing to Indy last week, I felt bad for him … for 0.68 seconds. (For an android, that is nearly an eternity.) Then I remembered he's made $937 octillion playing football, and my pity passed. I won't feel pity this week either should RG3 annihilate the woeful Denver defense. What can I say? When healthy, RG3's one of the most exciting players — even to an Eagles fan.

Fourth down

Green Bay at Minnesota, 6:30 p.m., Ch. 5 • Since leaving Green Bay, Greg Jennings has constantly criticized Aaron Rodgers. And karma said, "Here's Christian Ponder, Matt Cassel and Josh Freeman for you." Since the Packers let Jennings go, James Jones, Randall Cobb and Jermichael Finley got hurt, and karma said, "Here's Jarrett Boykin for you." To paraphrase Cher, "If they could turn back time …"

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