"The State of the Union is" • Take a shot. Take two if the union isn't good.
"Obamacare" • Take two vitamins with your drink. You may need it.
"Socialism" • Finish your drink and take your neighbor's.
"Sequestration" • Pour 10 percent of your drink into another glass. Drink it later anyway.
"Government efficiency" • Use red tape to cover your glass. Attempt to drink.
"Federalist papers" • Downing 85 Jell-O shots with shaved carrots would be in order, but then you'd be as dead as the guys who wrote them.
"Constitution" • Lunge for a bottle of water, Marco Rubio style.
"Obama's debt" • Buy/hand someone else a drink. We all have to share.
"Reform" • Don't drink. He'll say it too much.
Utahn leads site search • The Republican Party has tapped former Utah Rep. Enid Greene Mickelsen to lead its committee that will pick the site of the GOP's 2016 national convention.
Mickelsen will work with a committee, to be picked Friday, in deciding between cities competing for the chance to host the big gathering that can draw tens of thousands of delegates and journalists and earn days of national TV coverage. Utah isn't bidding to host the convention this time around, although it was a finalist in 2012.
"Selecting the right city for our 2016 Convention is an important decision that must be made carefully and methodically. I'm confident Enid Mickelsen is the right person to lead the Site Selection Committee in helping the RNC make that decision," Republican Chairman Reince Priebus said in a statement. "Enid understands the many considerations that go into selecting the right city. She will draw upon her years of leadership and service to our party and country as she and the committee review the many great options."
Dozens of cities are likely to make bids to hold the convention, including Las Vegas, Denver and Kansas City. At least three Ohio cities are making plans to do so.
"Ultimately, I know we will find a host city that will make the 2016 convention an exciting time for all involved and a memorable event along our party's road to the White House," said Mickelsen, a former chairwoman of the Utah Republican Party.
Mickelsen served one term in the House from 1994 to 1995, stepping down in the wake of a financial scandal centered on her then-husband Joe Waldholtz.
Shout out • A group of mayors met with President Barack Obama on Thursday and the president heralded the actions taken by city leaders to help the poor while also taking a shot at Congress. And in doing so, Obama dropped the name of Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker, who has risen in the ranks of the nation's mayoral associations.
"Every day, mayors are proving that you don't have to wait for the gridlock to clear in Congress in order to make things happen," the president said. "Now, Mayor Greg Stanton in Phoenix and Mayor Ralph Becker in Salt Lake City have ended chronic homelessness among veterans."
Phoenix and Salt Lake, with the help of federal resources, competed to see which city could provide housing to homeless vets first. Phoenix won, but only by a few months. In January, Becker said the city had eight homeless veterans, but only because they didn't accept housing.
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Burr and Canham report from Washington, D.C. They can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com or via Twitter @thomaswburr or @mattcanham.